Hello everyone, Welcome back to my Blog!
I hope everyone has had an amazing past week. Today I’m going to be sharing some Christian content, so if that’s an interest of yours keep reading!
(Trigger warning talks about jail, psychosis and mentions abuser)
My Testimony: Growing up my parents weren’t religious and they didn’t introduce me to any specific religion. My mom often told me to “believe in whatever I wanted to believe in.”
As a child I thought to myself, “Yeah because that’s helpful.”
I was always driven to the whole idea of God and heaven from a young age but I wasn’t taught about them, so I didn’t understand much about these concepts. I attended multiple Catholic elementary and middle schools, but because I was much older when transferring to the Catholic school board they didn’t teach me much about the basics of religion.
Overtime I stopped trying to figure out the purpose of religion and if I even had one, or wanted one for that matter. This was the darkest time of my life, and as you can imagine at this time I got myself into the most amount of trouble. I had no one to turn to for guidance and I felt completely alone.
It took something beyond horrible happening to me in order for me to have a spiritual awakening. I won’t go into much detail on the events that occurred, however I will say back then and still to this day I truly believe that God saved my life. Unfortunately, but also fortunately I ended up in custody. I was in a state of psychosis at this time and I was extremely confused about life, reality and God.
(“Lost in the sauce,” as I like to say.)
By the grace of Christ there was a kind lady at the jail who was willing to teach me about the gospel and Christian faith. Every week she would pick a day and make time to teach me and some of the other girls all sorts of things about Christianity and what it means to be a good Christian. We would do a bible study, we’d listen and sing along to Christian songs and we would finish in prayer. This experience of mine was memorable and truly beautiful. In a time that was meant to be dark, I couldn’t help but see the light. Eventually all the other girls got to go home and it was just me and the kind lady now.
Watching all the girls get released one by one was bittersweet. Obviously I was happy for them, although at the same time I selfishly wished that it was me going home instead.
A few months later I was released on bail with strict house arrest conditions. During this time I drifted away from God again, especially when my abuser got out of jail. I won’t go into much detail again, though I will say that this guy is the opposite of a Christian man. A few months go by and I ended up breaching my house arrest order due to an incident in relation to him. It’s funny, I actually sat in my holding cell and prayed for God to send me back into custody. Before I knew it, I was on my way back to my safe place, detention. At first I was hesitant to even have a bible in my room because of an overwhelming guilt that I felt for turning away from God for so long. Once I lost all contact with my abuser, I finally started working on my relationship with God once again. I grew closer to the Lord and I was lucky enough to have one on one lessons weekly with the kind lady from before. This time around I even wrote 2 faith based songs which I dedicated to her. She helped me find my way to God and I don’t know where I would be today without her.
I’ll forever be grateful for her love, kindness and support.
Nowadays, I go to church every Sunday but I’m still trying to find ways to get closer to God. Lately I’ve been taking every opportunity that I’ve been granted to learn more about him and I want to get baptized soon. I need to start reading my bible again and making it a daily habit. I’ve been working on writing a new faith based song, so once that is finished I want to share it on here!
I hope everyone enjoyed this blog! I’m so honoured to have been granted the opportunity and privilege to share pieces of my story with all of you guys.
I’ll be back next week, see ya!
-Reanie <3
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