Hey, welcome back!
I promised on the last blog that I would introduce myself to you today, and that’s exactly what I will be doing. I do have to say though, I am really nervous to do this. It’s been two weeks since the last blog post and since then I’ve been doing a lot of thinking of how to go about it. I came to the conclusion that I can only try my best. I have read and listened to many survivors speak about their own stories and every one of them is unique. I can’t believe that my time has come to share my own story. So where should I start?
To be honest, I have pressed the delete button a couple of times already because this “get to know me” is more challenging than I thought it would be. This is actually hard in a way because there are many things that make me who I am that I want to share about myself with you, but for privacy reasons, I won’t be able to. But hey, that’s okay! Yes, perhaps you won’t get to know “me” on a personal level, but you’ll get to know my story.
So I guess I should start by saying that I never thought I would be here today. I mean like literally here alive and well. I never thought I would make it out alive. I never thought I would ever get trafficked. I didn’t even know what that actually meant. I never thought during those two years of being with my trafficker, that I would have daily suicidal thoughts. I also didn’t plan to still have this trauma bond with my trafficker that haunts me every day.
Who was I before all of this? Well, I was a girl who loved sports and being part of leadership groups. I was a girl who dreamt about one day meeting the love of her life and having a home with kids running around. I was a girl that set goals and made her parents and teachers proud. Then it hit one day. This feeling of wanting more. I had just been cheated on by the person who I trusted and gave my virginity to. That broke me. I felt worthless and unwanted. I wanted to be the opposite of what he liked about me and it went downhill from there.
I remember walking home one day and saying to myself “you only live once” very cheesy but it made everything I did after that feel like it was okay. I was living with no regrets. I did what I needed to do to be part of the party scene, I had “cool” friends, I wanted to live life differently and more exciting.
Part of me wishes I could say it ended there, but it didn’t.
To be continued.
-Morty
Thanks for sharing your story. Thanks for being vulnerable and have courage to share from your heart. You will inspire others to do the same!
Wow …. cant wait to hear more. Very powerful.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and trusting us with your story.🥰