Sometimes, trying to gauge who safe people are in your life can become really difficult. In this week’s blog, I want to explain how my journey through this process has been and share the things that I’ve learned along the way. I feel that when considering who in your life is safe, there are a few different categories. For example, people who are sober or do not use to excess. This is important to me because of my past substance use. I want to keep my sobriety safe, which means that I can’t be around people who behave erratically and put themselves in dangerous situations. Again, my own safety is my priority. I also want to associate myself with people who treat others with kindness and keep an open mind. Having gone through what I have, I’ve definitely witnessed and fell a victim to a lot of judgment. I don’t want to surround myself with individuals who fill their hearts with hate.
Coming into recovery, I found it extremely difficult to let go of certain relationships even though I knew they were toxic. I found it difficult because at that point in my life, I felt that I had nothing. Although they were unhealthy relationships, I didn’t want to let go of the little I had left. If I’m being completely honest, it took me a while to let go of some people and once I did, I was very lonely for a period of time. Once I let these relationships go, it didn’t take me long to make meaningful connections with people who are involved in the recovery community. This made all the difference for me in terms of my outlook on the world and how I fit into it. Recovery started to feel manageable.
In early recovery, nothing felt achievable to me. I had to let go of certain relationships in order to grow. I want to add that I wish nothing bad on these individuals from my past, things change, people change, and because of this, not all relationships stay the same.
I want to reiterate that this process is definitely not an easy one, but looking back I wish I would have started it sooner. If you’re questioning whether you should hold onto a relationship with someone or not listen to your gut, there is a reason you are feeling this way. Sometimes we have to be selfish and do things for ourselves. Remember, this is your life that your living, do what’s best for you.
Ciao for now Ricky