In this week’s blog post I thought I would speak about revictimization and the damage it has caused me. When referring back to my own journey throughout human trafficking, being revictimized comes up a lot. On several different occasions, I would feel that I was finally free from my trafficker just to be found by him again and ending up seemingly right back to where I started. These instances have created a lot of trust issues within me, as well as a lot of anger, fear, and sadness.
It’s really difficult for me to ever truly feel safe in any type of situation. Worries of running into people, people having ulterior motives, or just not being able to remember if I’ve met someone in my past are huge fears of mine. While I do have all these issues, it’s important that I work through them. I feel the safest I’ve probably ever felt at SafeHope Home, but I can’t stay here forever. I have to prepare myself for when I transition out of the SafeHope Home bubble and into the real world.
The process of healing can feel a bit overwhelming at times, but when looking back at the person I was coming into SafeHope Home for the first time and who I am now, the difference is night and day. When things start to feel like they’re getting too hard for me to deal with, I think about the future that I’ve always dreamed of and the future that now feels attainable. That’s what keeps me going. The most important thing that I’ve learned within the last couple of months is that I deserve to be happy, get my education, and have a career. Knowing those things now is the best gift I’ve ever received.
What happened to me in my past was horrible and should never happen to any human being, but I wouldn’t change a single thing. I am the person I am today because of it and I am proud of how I turned out.
Ciao for now